How to be Effectively Single
What better time to write than when you actually feel? When you feel that you can speak to something that you are going through, have been through, or will eventually have to go through. So no matter what situation you are currently in, whether you're single, dating, "talking", it's complicated, or you don't even know...here's some advice from me to you on how to enjoy being single and maybe even figure out what you have going on!
With social media and friends playing a huge role in how we see ourselves in society, being in a relationship can be one of the many things we desire, right next to having a Chanel bag or a perfect body. Now, there's nothing wrong with having these things especially if you work hard for them but once you have it you realize that it's not everything or you still feel like there's something's missing. This is because none of these physical things can soothe the soul. Most of the things I tell you will probably be things you have heard before or already know deep down but just suppress.
"I'm tired of meeting new people and starting over" sis...and this goes for guys too...sis, you know how many times we'll start over in this lifetime? Stop settling and blocking your blessings because you're lazy and scared. Meet people! Everyone doesn't have to necessarily be your boo and when you're hunting for the perfect person you probably won't even find them. With this being said, make friends. Friends of the same sex and of the opposite sex, and hang out! Having friends and doing fun things with them help you enjoy and cultivate the single life. You create moments that make good stories for your future husband or wife and children and horror stories for your parents. Go on expensive trips, cheap trips, to a club, or dummy missions around the city.
"I hate being alone", "Single is boring", baby, that's probably why you are single or in a toxic relationship right now. Don't be afraid to spend time with yourself. Read books, explore new music and shows, take yourself out on dates and don't depend on anyone else to. How do you expect someone to get to know you when you don't even know yourself? Become more peaceful. Workout, do yoga, go for walks, or meditate. Talk to God and talk to yourself. There's so much to do and so much to see! Give yourself the world, after all, you deserve it!
"We're just talking" AHHHHN, there's no such thing, either your'e dating....openly or exclusively, or you all are friends. Friends don't have sex though. Learn to communicate and not be afraid to be speak up for yourself and clearly express how you feel, what you want, and what you expect. This goes for any relationship, even the relationship with yourself. Be quick to call yourself out on your flaws just as quick as you do other people. Work on these things daily and be mindful of these things before you get in another relationship. Also, try to take your own advice. You know what you would tell your friends if they were going through your situation so be your own friend and remove your feelings from the situation and look at it for what it is .Practicing these things make you a better communicator in all settings and a force to be reckoned with.
As for men, do yourself a favor and be honest with women, you know your intentions. Save yourself the headache and women the heartache. Someone is looking for exactly for the same thing that you are so there's no need to lie. If you want her get right or move around. Also, learn to enjoy yourself as well, dealing with a lot of women regardless of how serious the situation, your energy will be drained. It's okay to be by yourself. You don't need women's validation...nor do you need men's. Know yourself and know what you're worth.
You are whole all by yourself, you complete you and you are enough! The right person will come along one day, but until then enjoy yourself before you share yourself with someone else. Not everyone deserves to enjoy you either. Be selfish with you. Write how you feel, what you want to accomplish, and what you're thankful for. Read about philosophies, how to be a better you, and an affirmation. Watch videos on new things, weird things, and motivational things.
And when you do find that special someone that you can share the special things that you enjoy doing by yourself, remember the single you...remember the things that you learned and keep them in mind because nothing's worse than feeling lost after you part ways from someone you've become so invested in. I love you, even if it's tough love. I'm only sharing you what I know and whether it's through personal experience or friends. There are things I still need to practice and work on because I'm not an expert nor am I perfect but we can grow together! Have a great week<3
"Being single isn't a problem to be solved, it's an incredible opportunity to create your own happiness" - Anonymous