Whether you enjoy spending time with yourself, friends are too busy, friends are nonexistent, or you are trying to enjoy spending more time with yourself, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!!! A few years back I wrote about cheap dates but now that we are material gworls we don't have to do cheap. (But I'll still throw some cheap ones in there just for the hell of it.) Spending time alone allows me to get to know be better. I'm sure you may have heard the saying of "dating yourself", and if you haven't it basically means you take time to get to know what you like, dislike, and who you are amongst many other things. By doing this you'll gain a stronger sense of self and the world slows down. Though some things are better done accompanied, some are just as amazing alone if not better.
One of the easiest things to do by yourself is to go out to eat. This past year I created a Tik Tok and I've been a foodie ever since. Shoutout to the Detroit influencers for helping me gain 10 pounds...but no they can actually count their days. Whether you go to your favorite restaurant or try one of the ones on your list of places you've been wanting to go, make time to take yourself to brunch or dinner. Go to all the upscale restaurants you've been dying to try with other people. The perk is you don't have to wait on anyone to finish eating, entertain drawn out conversations, Bonus tip: If you go at a busier time, i.e the weekend, the evening, or happy hour you might even get lucky and have free food and drinks;)
Another solo date that I absolutely love is going to the movies. I will say the only downfall is that I like to talk here and there but other than that 10/10 I'd highly recommend. Be sure to buy food, popcorn, and anything else when you go, it adds to the experience. I love my movie theater's pizza (the staff make the pizza from scratch with their heart and soul, IKYK) so I don't even bother buying food to sneak in anymore.
When life and people are stressing you out, it's always nice to treat yourself to a spa date. Whether it's for 30 minutes or an entire day (I vote for the entire day) make reservations at the nicest spa in your city. This will be peaceful time that you can use to clear your head, spend time away from your phone/the outside world. It's honestly one of the most refreshing feelings. In a sense it feels like you've been baptized and cleansed from the world. Which leads me to my next point.
Whenever I do yoga or any type of exercise, but especially yoga I feel that I've surrendered myself to what I'm doing and
I'm a whole new me. That being said, sign up for a gym membership. Don't put off working out because you're waiting for your accountability partner. Something that really helped push me to push myself was signing up for classes included in my gym membership. Sign up for the fancy gyms you see on Tik Tok and take us on your fitness journey whether it's once a week or 5 days a week.
One last amazing date you can do with yourself is a solo trip. If you're like me and just thought of this gives you anxiety then you can scale it down and do a staycation. This can be as extravagant as you would like or as simple as you would like. Go to that place that you've been wanting to visit but haven't gotten around to because everyone else can't afford it, take off from work, or whatever excuse they've been using. Cabo? Book it. Spain? Book it. Thailand? Book it. While I don't feel that I'm the best to provide advice on solo traveling since I've never done it before, I will definitely encourage you to. There are plenty of videos and articles that will have helpful tips on how to do this safely. As far as the staycation goes, book a really nice room in a really nice city and order room service, a bottle of champagne, and whatever else they're offering. Be a tourist in your own city. See what excursions and sites that they recommend. Book a tour and learn about that statue you pass everyday on your way to work.
No matter what idea you decide to try, spend time with yourself, learn yourself, and enjoy this time. Once I learn how to fully work Tik Tok, I should make it a series. Set a reoccurring day on the calendar whether it's once a month, weekly, or biweekly, just make time. As always, I hope you enjoyed reading and I hope you enjoy your solo dates even more!
I nearly forgot how therapeutic it is to write because I haven't posted on here in a year, and boy we see how much can happen within a year, or better yet, just a few months. With this being said, life as we know it is at a stand still, yet the sun is still rising and setting everyday. Are you here right now? If not, bring your mind to this moment, to your breath.
Recently I've been doing a lot reading from many different authors but one thing they all emphasize is mindfulness. The word itself is pretty self-explanatory, however, it just means to be in the present moment. What are you feeling? When your mind is aware of what your body is doing you are being mindful. One of the most popular ways to practice mindfulness is meditating. The average human has anywhere between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day, so just having a few moments out the day where you sit and think about nothing can be quite beautiful. Now, with this being said, it can seem pretty conflicting on how we can be mindful and present when we're always looking forward to the future.
Just like you, I had plenty of plans that have been tragically cancelled. It sucks even more that my phone calendar will remind me of these events when the dates get near. Currently I should be in Las Vegas, recklessly spending my money in the casino. After hitting the jackpot in Vegas, I'd be starting my internship in Chicago at the end of the month, a place I've always dreamt of living. Lollapalooza...cancelled, Brent Faiyaz...cancelled, shall I go on? The point is I had all these amazing plans, content with life after a rough fall semester. I'm telling you 2020 was going to be my year and I'm sure you had these same thoughts. And it can be, just not in the sense that we originally thought. You will most definitely have your bad days and be like 2021 where you at?? But truly try to get the lesson out of what life is trying to teach you right now because if you don't something else may come back and make your life come to a halt again. The lesson for some of you may be patience (I feel like this is mine), financial maturity, healing, or something much deeper.
Honestly, life is about enjoying the journey, the work not just the goal or destination. As funny as it sounds, enjoy the tears, enjoy these moments of doing nothing, enjoy the bad days because they surely won't last and they will make the good days even sweeter. Nothing is permanent including your emotions. Always have a plan, be excited for the future, allow your mind to wonder sometimes but bring it back. Whether you're looking forward to graduating, moving, getting married, or having a kid think about and be aware of how you feel in this moment. Write how you feel, it doesn't have to be structured it can be bullet points or however you feel will best express you. When you write, you're allowing yourself to focus and process what's going on in your head...this is another form of practicing mindfulness, journaling.
Being mindful can also protect us from doing dumb things. Why do you feel this way when you think about your future? What is our body trying to tell us? Are we ready?
I've seen this image that I love and it says, "mind full or mindful"? If you made it this far and didn't get anything that I said, just understand that you need to be present with yourself. We all have moments that we wish we could experience again because we felt that we didn't enjoy them enough at the time. Enjoy now, meditate, journal, and train your mind. This moment is all that you have.