The beauty of life and also the scary part about life is the unknown. As people, we always want to know what's next? So **SPOILER ALART** here I am telling you what's next after you walk across the stage...the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. While my experiences may be completely different from yours, I'm sure we've experienced some of the same thoughts or emotions.
If I could explain life after college in one sentence it would be a permanent summer break. Some of your friends are still in school while some are working but most of all everyone is trying to figure life out. One of the perks of being a new graduate at this time is the job market. The job market is overflowing with opportunities and is seeking to fill roles right away...this too can be scary and I don't want to in the slightest way make it seem like it's a piece of cake because it's not, but it's not impossible. It really is what you make of it.
Along with job hunting/working you're trying to figure out who you are outside from being a professional. While in college your identity in a sense is being a college student. For example, if someone were to say "tell me about yourself", like your response would be where you attend school, your major, and different organizations you may be involved in. The same is true for professionals, when someone asks you about yourself you're likely to tell them your job role, the company you work for, and what you do within that role. So not only are you trying to find your footing in your career but also find out who you are outside of your accolades. Part of figuring this out is trying a lot of new things, some of which interest you and some that you may not be interested in at all.
By trying things outside of work, you meet new people and if you're really good you'll make new friends. This aspect of life I'm just starting to dip my feet in. Whether you decide to sign up for a cycling class or join a book club, just like in college, you're bound to meet like minded individuals. You may even think you're too old to make friends but honestly you're never too old because at every point in our life we're always a newbie to something. Right now you may be new to your job, your major, your 20s, or whatever else, you get the point.
Being new to things also reminds you that there's always something that you don't know, you're always learning and adapting. Though you have this VERY expensive degree you don't know everything and in a sense this luxurious piece of paper has led you to question even more things. And though I probably won't be able answer many of your questions because we probably have the same ones, I'll pose a toast to enjoying the journey of navigating new experiences regardless of what it is and figuring this s**t out . 🥂
I nearly forgot how therapeutic it is to write because I haven't posted on here in a year, and boy we see how much can happen within a year, or better yet, just a few months. With this being said, life as we know it is at a stand still, yet the sun is still rising and setting everyday. Are you here right now? If not, bring your mind to this moment, to your breath.
Recently I've been doing a lot reading from many different authors but one thing they all emphasize is mindfulness. The word itself is pretty self-explanatory, however, it just means to be in the present moment. What are you feeling? When your mind is aware of what your body is doing you are being mindful. One of the most popular ways to practice mindfulness is meditating. The average human has anywhere between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day, so just having a few moments out the day where you sit and think about nothing can be quite beautiful. Now, with this being said, it can seem pretty conflicting on how we can be mindful and present when we're always looking forward to the future.
Just like you, I had plenty of plans that have been tragically cancelled. It sucks even more that my phone calendar will remind me of these events when the dates get near. Currently I should be in Las Vegas, recklessly spending my money in the casino. After hitting the jackpot in Vegas, I'd be starting my internship in Chicago at the end of the month, a place I've always dreamt of living. Lollapalooza...cancelled, Brent Faiyaz...cancelled, shall I go on? The point is I had all these amazing plans, content with life after a rough fall semester. I'm telling you 2020 was going to be my year and I'm sure you had these same thoughts. And it can be, just not in the sense that we originally thought. You will most definitely have your bad days and be like 2021 where you at?? But truly try to get the lesson out of what life is trying to teach you right now because if you don't something else may come back and make your life come to a halt again. The lesson for some of you may be patience (I feel like this is mine), financial maturity, healing, or something much deeper.
Honestly, life is about enjoying the journey, the work not just the goal or destination. As funny as it sounds, enjoy the tears, enjoy these moments of doing nothing, enjoy the bad days because they surely won't last and they will make the good days even sweeter. Nothing is permanent including your emotions. Always have a plan, be excited for the future, allow your mind to wonder sometimes but bring it back. Whether you're looking forward to graduating, moving, getting married, or having a kid think about and be aware of how you feel in this moment. Write how you feel, it doesn't have to be structured it can be bullet points or however you feel will best express you. When you write, you're allowing yourself to focus and process what's going on in your head...this is another form of practicing mindfulness, journaling.
Being mindful can also protect us from doing dumb things. Why do you feel this way when you think about your future? What is our body trying to tell us? Are we ready?
I've seen this image that I love and it says, "mind full or mindful"? If you made it this far and didn't get anything that I said, just understand that you need to be present with yourself. We all have moments that we wish we could experience again because we felt that we didn't enjoy them enough at the time. Enjoy now, meditate, journal, and train your mind. This moment is all that you have.
What better time to write than when you actually feel? When you feel that you can speak to something that you are going through, have been through, or will eventually have to go through. So no matter what situation you are currently in, whether you're single, dating, "talking", it's complicated, or you don't even know...here's some advice from me to you on how to enjoy being single and maybe even figure out what you have going on!
With social media and friends playing a huge role in how we see ourselves in society, being in a relationship can be one of the many things we desire, right next to having a Chanel bag or a perfect body. Now, there's nothing wrong with having these things especially if you work hard for them but once you have it you realize that it's not everything or you still feel like there's something's missing. This is because none of these physical things can soothe the soul. Most of the things I tell you will probably be things you have heard before or already know deep down but just suppress.
"I'm tired of meeting new people and starting over" sis...and this goes for guys too...sis, you know how many times we'll start over in this lifetime? Stop settling and blocking your blessings because you're lazy and scared. Meet people! Everyone doesn't have to necessarily be your boo and when you're hunting for the perfect person you probably won't even find them. With this being said, make friends. Friends of the same sex and of the opposite sex, and hang out! Having friends and doing fun things with them help you enjoy and cultivate the single life. You create moments that make good stories for your future husband or wife and children and horror stories for your parents. Go on expensive trips, cheap trips, to a club, or dummy missions around the city.
"I hate being alone", "Single is boring", baby, that's probably why you are single or in a toxic relationship right now. Don't be afraid to spend time with yourself. Read books, explore new music and shows, take yourself out on dates and don't depend on anyone else to. How do you expect someone to get to know you when you don't even know yourself? Become more peaceful. Workout, do yoga, go for walks, or meditate. Talk to God and talk to yourself. There's so much to do and so much to see! Give yourself the world, after all, you deserve it!
"We're just talking" AHHHHN, there's no such thing, either your'e dating....openly or exclusively, or you all are friends. Friends don't have sex though. Learn to communicate and not be afraid to be speak up for yourself and clearly express how you feel, what you want, and what you expect. This goes for any relationship, even the relationship with yourself. Be quick to call yourself out on your flaws just as quick as you do other people. Work on these things daily and be mindful of these things before you get in another relationship. Also, try to take your own advice. You know what you would tell your friends if they were going through your situation so be your own friend and remove your feelings from the situation and look at it for what it is .Practicing these things make you a better communicator in all settings and a force to be reckoned with.
As for men, do yourself a favor and be honest with women, you know your intentions. Save yourself the headache and women the heartache. Someone is looking for exactly for the same thing that you are so there's no need to lie. If you want her get right or move around. Also, learn to enjoy yourself as well, dealing with a lot of women regardless of how serious the situation, your energy will be drained. It's okay to be by yourself. You don't need women's validation...nor do you need men's. Know yourself and know what you're worth.
You are whole all by yourself, you complete you and you are enough! The right person will come along one day, but until then enjoy yourself before you share yourself with someone else. Not everyone deserves to enjoy you either. Be selfish with you. Write how you feel, what you want to accomplish, and what you're thankful for. Read about philosophies, how to be a better you, and an affirmation. Watch videos on new things, weird things, and motivational things.
And when you do find that special someone that you can share the special things that you enjoy doing by yourself, remember the single you...remember the things that you learned and keep them in mind because nothing's worse than feeling lost after you part ways from someone you've become so invested in. I love you, even if it's tough love. I'm only sharing you what I know and whether it's through personal experience or friends. There are things I still need to practice and work on because I'm not an expert nor am I perfect but we can grow together! Have a great week<3
"Being single isn't a problem to be solved, it's an incredible opportunity to create your own happiness" - Anonymous
Well that time of the year has come around once again! Vision boards can be an anytime of the year kind of the thing whenever that lightbulb goes off in your head and you decide that you want to make a change, actually see your goals, or motivate yourself. To each its own but to end the year off right and start 2019 off amazingly I'm going to give you some tips that I've learned from some people that are walking versions of their vision boards and just things that I've learned over the years of making them.
1. Pen and Paper
Before we even get to the fun part, we have to reflect. What are some things that we accomplished? What are some things we could do better? What are some things you want to accomplish within a year? These things should be tangible and realistic. For example, if you have a 2.5 overall GPA, maybe you should write down a 3.0 overall GPA and go from there because a 4.0 overall GPA won't happen overnight and also mistakes and life happens so account for all of those things as well. With that being said, I do believe in putting some "Out there" kind of things because I mean you never know what may happen and just because you don't get it this upcoming year, it may happen the following year. After all I put a Benz on my vision board for 2018:) If you have an older vision board take whatever you didn't accomplish off and put it aside so you can place it on your new board. Write these things down and don't overdue it but don't under-due it. Your vision board isn't a collage so don't try to put a million things on it but it's also a masterpiece so don't leave to many blank spaces.
2. Find a Theme
I feel that finding a theme always helps me as far as deciding what kind of images I want to find and being more organized. Once I completely put my board together, I feel that it looks good and isn't just all over the place with colors, images, sizes, it just all fits and follows an underlying theme. Your theme can be anything from just a basic color scheme or actual era. Get creative, you're going to have to look at this for 365 days, make it something good to look at!
3. Finding Representations
The next important thing is finding something to represent each thing you wrote down. This could be an object that means something to you or just a simple picture. Objects can be more expensive and complicated to attain just because you have to make sure these objects aren't too heavy nor too big. Pictures can be cut out of a magazine, this is more of the traditional way, or you can find exact images online, save them to your phone and take them to get developed. Personally, I like getting my images online just because I can specifically pick the image that I want.
4. Displaying Your Board
Once you've completed your board, you may want to get a frame to put it in or just get some command strips to hang it. You want to place it somewhere that you can see it frequently and be reminded of your goals and desires. Some things may be too personal to place on your vision board for whatever reason, especially if you live with someone, if that's the case, I recommend printing or cutting the picture out anyway and just putting it in a safe place just so it's still physically there. (I do this myself)
Actually completing things both consciously and unconsciously on your vision board are one of the best feelings. Constantly reflect and add things if you want however, try not to take things off. But anyway, you did it! Your vision board for the new year is complete! Now let's make our dreams come true!
So before we start, let's just get this clear...all the rumors are true. College is the best time of your life, it is also the worst time of your life, you will meet really cool people you'll never see again, you'll meet really cool people and hang out with them everyday, it is possible to fail your first class or even a few, you will have professors who have no clue who you are, and you are one in thousands...now, I don't say this to say aww you're so special but I say this to say you are just a number. While college is all these different things, it is a great experience and is unique to everyone. And while you will have some bad days or even weeks, as long as the good days outweigh the bad, you're doing alright. Many of us have heard college advice before and it can tend to become repetitive after a point but these are a few things that I learned my first year and definitely wish I did more of and plan to do for future semesters.
Talk to your professors on a regular as well as your advisors. I definitely communicated with my advisors often but not my professors as much as I should have. These are the people who will assist you both with your educational life and potentially your personal life. They have the power to turn you onto many opportunities. Professors can help you in a struggling class and ultimately see that you're trying and taking initiative to understand the material, which will help you in the long run. Advisors help you on a more broad academic level as far as classes in general and advice or other helpful resources around campus. While these people are great resources, sometimes just stop by to say hi and check on them. Make sure they know your name!
Take classes with people you know. This will make it easier to study and even learn the material, who knows, you all might be able to assist each other with simple answers that are asked in class for a grade. If you can't make it to class one day, they can fill you in on what you missed....these relationships will be more beneficial then you think. Take full advantage of them.
There will always be something popping up but at least try to create and follow a regular schedule for yourself. Include free time just in case something does pop up it will not throw you off completely. Getting enough rest at night can help you to be more energized in the morning and not be so sleepy to where you need to take a nap in the middle of the day. Ultimately it will help you seize the day. Create a time where you go to tutoring every other day for a problem class, even if you understand the current material. Also workout on a regular, it will help self-esteem and keeping your body on track because you will possibly gain weight due to your changing diet. Cut out the time in your schedule where you have club meetings every week or every other week. (Join at least 3 clubs. One for professional/major, one for your liking, and one for diversity) Now enough about academics, we're going to talk about what most people want to know...parties/social life.
When going out, always go out with a trustworthy group of friends. Lookout for your friends and make sure they look out for you. Make plans of how you will get there and how you will get back prior to going out. You don't want to be those girls at the party who are stranded. Also, leave with who you came with.
Relationships your first year are definitely doable, however, I do recommend having the ability to experience college to the fullest. Dating definitely shows you what is out there (which is nothing special haha) but it also shows you what you like and don't like and teaches you patience. Being single in college also allows you to become emotionally independent. You are young, enjoy these years!
While being in college you learn to live on your own in aspect while still sharing your space with someone. Personally, I prefer to room with someone I know. Regardless of who you room with, set rules an adhere to these rules. Living with someone will teach you how to grow up and speak up for yourself.
College itself teaches you how to grow up and speak of for yourself. You are changing and getting to know yourself so be patient. It is okay to cry and ask for help because you can't do it all on your own. It is also okay to change your interest because after all you're paying to be there. It is okay to have more than one interest too. Enjoy college to it's fullest, try new things, change things you don't like whether it's in regards to yourself or your community. Though you are one in thousands, your voice matters so let it be heard. And lastly, regardless if your plans may change, never change your goal. You will get there! You can do it! Have a great first year in college! And if you have anymore questions feel free to reach out to me.
Feliz Cumpleaños! Me bebe es ahora uno! Lol in other words my blog has officially turned one on January 8. In celebration of my blog's one-year anniversary I have added new pages to my site including, style, travel, budget, and for the culture. All of these new pages have their own unique purposes that you can read more about on the pages themselves. Now don't worry I will keep this page so you and I both can reflect on all of the wonderful memories of the past year. I also will post things that I feel do not fit into the other categories. If you keep up with my blog then you know that my blog has not set theme and I just give my personal take on random topics or my experiences. I love writing and I feel that it is one of the best self-expressions. Though I do not talk about anything "deep" or personal on here everything that I write on here comes from the heart.
I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone that keeps up with my blog and supports EVERYTHING I do lol. Every day I discover more and more things that I like and others that I do not. In saying this, I can tend to be very scatter brain and start things but not finish or be very inconsistent. With saying this I have a million more things I plan to start this year. I hope both you and I reach our full potential in 2018. Again, thanks for all of the support, and cheers to a great 2018!
Sometime in middle school is when I believe kids undergo the transition of a young child to a big kid. Within this transition a number of things occur such as puberty, more responsibilities, and learning that Santa doesn't really exist. ( I hope you already knew that.) And let's not lie one of the things that makes Christmas so fun is believing that a fat man is squeezing down the chimney to give you lots of gifts in exchange for cookies and milk. Even after finding out that Santa does not exist the excitement of the holidays lingers on for a few years before it becomes kind of like another day out of the year. You no longer go to bed early so Santa can come or get lots of gifts anymore. Soooooo let me tell you how you can still enjoy your Santa less holiday. Disclaimer: It may be a little too late for some of these things, but there is always next year.
1. Have a secret Santa gift exchange with your friends. Each one of you can write your names on a slip of paper as well as three things that you want for Christmas. Place each of the slips of paper into a hat and pull the names. (Also establish a budget.)
2. Host a holiday party/sleepover. Invite your family and friends over for a holiday celebration in ugly Christmas sweaters with nice fun games, music, and eggnog. Or just invite your friends over to watch Christmas movies and decorate gingerbread houses in cute onesies. (If you want to be super fancy, you all can exchange secret Santa gifts at this time.)
3. Watch 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family.
4. Volunteer somewhere or do something to give back to someone. It is always a great feeling knowing that you made a positive difference in someone's life.
5. Go ice skating and take really cute pictures in the snow.
Now these are just a few things that you could do for the holidays. The list is honestly endless. If you think about it lol we exchange Christmas for New Years because we can do so much more than we were once able to. Anywaysssss have a Merry Christmas!!!
Have you ever done something or went somewhere and thought to yourself... this is what I am supposed to be doing or where I am supposed to be? I get this feeling every time I go downtown Detroit, but this feeling intensified when I went to Chicago. The city itself is so beautiful and there is so much opportunity in the heart of the city. Now, I know there are so many places I haven't been but I just feel it in my spirit that I am supposed to live in a place like that or have a business in a place like that. The city has my heart and pictures are worth a thousand words so I hope you enjoyed the sites that made me fall in love.
I'm writing this today because honestly...college is hard. Well it's not completely hard but just this one class. And it's even more frustrating because everyone says, "OMG you're taking that? Goodluck.","Why didn't you just transfer that class?", "I dropped that class!", "Everyone I know that took that class said it's so hard." I'm not one to give up easily or try to take the easy way out. The class is not hard in the aspect of the work is hard but it is just so much work and working with a program that I am not familiar with makes it difficult. I tried going to help rooms once a week or when I needed help and meeting with people to review before quizzes and exams but obviously that is not working so it's time for a new plan because failure is not in my plan!
After talking to my parents, advisors, other students who have the class and people who have passed the class I know I can do it. I may not get the 4.0 that I would love but it's not the end of the world. Personally, I am not used to having problems in school and if I do have a problem I am used to simple fixes so this situation is frustrating.
The other day I was walking and it was a guy skateboarding with his friend and he tried to flip the skateboard while he jumped or something (IDK skateboarding isn't my thing) but he was trying to do a trick he fell off the skateboard a few times. Before the last time he told his friend, "one more time and we can go." He fell off again and afterwards he said, "I know I said one more time but I want to try again." His friend said, "no it's fine, you can practice on our way back." This may sound cliche but it really happened! I promise!
I know I told myself if business does not work out then I'll just do engineering but business not working out is not an option. If I change my major it will be because I genuinely want to not because I am discouraged. Whatever you are struggling with, you will overcome it successfully! Cry a little, pray a lot, work a lot, if your current plan is not working, change it. This is the week I will implement my new plan. We can do it! Oh and I honestly wrote this because I needed this. I needed to remind myself that everything will turn out fine and that I can do ANYTHING that I wish to because no one is stopping me but me. Have a great week:) This is your reminder that you will be okay!
Well I'm a day late and a dollar short because today's actually October 10 but I started this post on August 17 (the day that I got my hair cut). Anywayyy, I didn't really do a big "big chop" like cut all my hair off but I cut my heat damage off so I can start my healthy natural hair journey. Though I did not cut off all my hair, this still was a big step for me. When I first cut my hair it was exciting and I felt like a new woman.
Now, there are days where I love my hair and then there are days that I hate it because I can only do so much with it. I do not regret cutting my hair at all because I would rather have healthy hair and I swear I think it's growing lol but I know the payoff will be worth it. Because I did not cut too much off, my hair is in the awkward length phase, too long for finger waves but too short for a ponytail or bun. I'm still experimenting but if you catch me with a scarf on I'm having a bad hair day.
If you have been contemplating doing the big chop just do it because if you continue to think about it you won't do it. Or just cut little by little. You can do this girl! We're all in this together. You may be shocked at first or you may love it, either way, there will be days you hate your hair but that happens anyway.
Another thing is I also still need to try more natural hair products because right now jojoba oil and Shea Moistures' Curl Enhancing Smoothie is my holy grail. I love how light jojoba oil is and it smells great and my hair loves it. Curl enhancing smoothie is nice as well and helps my curls POP! I will be back at the six month mark to show you guys my progress, give recommendations on hair product successes and fails, and even various hairstyles. Thanks for being patient with my posts because I am still trying to get the hang of this college thing *sighs* but I will...TRY to post more. No but really, I will find my groove again. Have a great week!